One year ago. One year ago- I woke up highly anxious. We had our BIG ultrasound. We were going to find out if we were having a sweet little girl or another precious little boy. Craig's bet was on girl. Mine was on boy.
When you first find out you are pregnant, you are thrilled! And you automatically start praying for a healthy baby. Its sometimes something you take for granted. Now that all of my friends are at the "child bearing" years, and with the help of social media.. I think the reality of having a non- healthy child kinda sinks in. You begin to realize that really, having a healthy baby is 100% a miracle. But in the back of your mind- you kind of think- "i really cant imagine what they are feeling..it cant happen to me.. of course MY babies are going to be healthy"
On February 7, 2011.. one of my worst nightmares happened. My baby was not healthy. We were told, through tears in our doctors eyes, that our baby was really sick. And it was a big deal. I remember feeling numb on one hand, and then on the other hand feeling like I might throw up. I remember feeling an intense pain that I can not even begin to describe, and one that you would not even be able to understand, unless you have been in a similar circumstance.
We moved from my OBs office to one of the greatest high risk doctor's in OKC's office. I remember laying on the ultrasound chair feeling like I needed a trashcan next to me the entire time because I did not know how long I could stay well. I remember the ultrasound tech taking her time looking at our McKinley. I remember noticing her organs floating outside of her body. I remember sitting in consulation with Dr. Stanley and him explaining that he was not sure if our baby girl had gastroscesis or an omphalocele. It didnt really look like either.. but he was leaning towards an omphalocele. I remember him giving us the option of an amnio.. and both Craig and I automatically said that an amnio would make no difference in our decision. This was our daughter.
I remember driving to my moms to pick up Jackson-- feeling like I was in a complete fog. I remember my phone ringing off the hook. And millions of encouraging text messages. I remember avoiding one of my very best friends phone call, because I just knew she knew EXACTLY what our journey was going to look like. And knowing I wasnt ready for that yet. Then when I did finally talk to her, it was such a peaceful conversation. I also remember her making me say the word "omphalocele" several times until I got it right. According to her, I need to not just continue to call it the "o word". She was right.
I remember feeling so loved and encouraged. Yet feeling so alone and scared.
I remember crying ALOT. I remember getting annoyed at well intending people telling me "they knew so and so that had just what McKinley has and they are fine".. I remember thinking "first of all, they probably did not have what McKinley had and secondly, your situation has nothing to do with mine" And then I remember getting frustrated at myself for getting annoyed at people who were only trying to help.
I remember learning alot about grief. And learning alot about what to say to someone who IS grieving. I remember getting a card from one of my friends from high school and it meaning SO much to me. I remember running to the other room to Craig and saying "now THIS is what you say to someone who is hurting". I remember calling my mom and reading her the card and telling her the same thing.
I remember that even though the entire process was overwhelming, I knew that MY GOD chose ME to be McKinley's mom. What a blessing. HE CHOSE ME. I was going to be strong. Craig and I would do what we needed to do to make sure that our daughter had the best medical team waiting for her in OKC. We prayed for God's healing hand. We didnt know what that was going to look like... we knew that it might not look like how we hoped. But we prayed for 100% healing.
I remember being surrounded by people who loved us, and prayed for our daughter. Here are some of the prayers that we received the days after finding out about McKinley's diagnosis.
Auburn Hutson
I just read your blog post. I'm so so sorry to hear about your little one. Doesn't it make all the difference to have such tender-hearted, gentle, nurses and doctors? We will pray for you and your little babe tonight!! Much love.
Rachel Watson
i say a prayer every second that i think about baby #2 and your family, which is a lot. i know it isnt easy but keep remembering kari jobe singing...
"i believe, your my healer, i believe you are all i need. I believe, your my portion, i believe there's more than enough for me. Jesus your all i need".
♥ you
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Emily McMains Freeman
Isaiah 26:3-4 is my favorite verse and the one I meditated on when we were in the hospital with Trey. "He will keep in Perfect Peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him, because he trusts in him. Trust in the Lord your God...for the Lord is an everlasting Rock." Danielle, when the circumstances in our lives shift drastically, we can remain firm if we remain on the Rock. I can understand, to a small degree, what you are feeling..and wishing somehow you had some control over the situation....Being in a position to look back, I will tell you that the times in my life when I was forced to depend soley upon Him were the times He gave me more peace than I can now fathom. I know it does not make it any easier walking through it and I will be praying for you, Craig, and your family every step of the way. You are loved!!!
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MelissaJoy Mj Cox
Hi friend~ I just read your blog. Being a NICU nurse, I have seen both gastroschesis and omphaleseles. I have incredible friends that work at OU in the NICU, who treat these GI anomalies almost every week. If I can do anything for you from their end, please let me know. The Pediatric surgery team there is top notch! Please let me know what I can do. Praying a wave of peace that surpassess all understanding be over your house tonight.
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Cindy Land
I will not quit praying & believing for the healing of your precious one or for the comfort and peace for you and your family! Love you friend. So thankful for a healing & faithful God!
Lauren Willey Maggio
Stay strong and know that you are being prayed for around the clock. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Julie Rhoads Haines
Danielle and Craig, I just read your blog post and I am so sorry. Please know that Tommy and I are praying for you guys and your little one during this time. We love you guys and will lift you all up in prayer fervently!
Caroline Williams
Just read your blog post, praying for you and Baby #2. I LOVE DR. STANLEY!!! He was my perinatologist and I can't speak highly enough of him. Dr. Mirabile is also excellent. As far as NICU's go, I know of a set of triplets born at 23 weeks in November at Baptist and their parents love the NICU, they speak of how important it was to them that the NICU staff is very prayerful. If you want a link to their caring bridge site I can get it to you.
Kelli Dupuy
Tre and I are sending hugs your way, buddy! Love You!!!!
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Holly Hunt Morgan
Will pray for this precious Baby Smith #2 and his wonderful parents!
Mackenzie Baily
Praying for you and your family. Thanks for letting us go to the Father on your behalf.
Cynthia Nichols
Danielle, I told my daddy about your prayer request. He stopped right where he was and we said a prayer for you. He remembers you well, and will be doing some major praying for your little family.
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Andrea Jeter Lyles
Danielle, I have been thinking of you and Craig this afternoon with a heavy heart. Praying for God's protective hand on your baby. Praying for peace for all of you. Love you and stay strong.
I wanted to let you know that I have been praying for McKinley, I am just not good at writing down my prayers like others are. I tend to pray in the car or while I am cleaning houses, things like that. So even though I haven't posted a prayer in writing, we are praying for God's healing in the womb.
You and your family were in my prayers this evening. Thinking of you and my sincere wish is you feel Gods comfort embrace you.
Danielle and Craig, I just read your blog post and I am so sorry. Please know that Tommy and I are praying for you guys and your little one during this time. We love you guys and will lift you all up in prayer fervently!
praying for
Danielle Wulf Smith and her precious family today. Not receiving good news about little baby in the belly! Join me in saying a prayer for them! Love you all!
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Pat Hensley Ervin
We heard today in SS about you and your baby girl..know that Doug and I are praying for healing and safety for all...
Kari Cruzan
What wondeful news!! As soon as you share her name... she will be prayed for over and over again... and then over and over again!! Congrats!!!
Marin Hutton Chastain
Sweet Danielle, praying fervently for God's protection and care with this precious baby. Please let me know if there's anything more that we can do. All my love to you!
- Katie Box
I am praying for you and baby.
Laura Gruel Reeves
Lifting you, Craig, Jackson, and baby up in prayer now and always trusting in God's faithfulness.
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Leslie Poe
Praying for you and Craig now, Danielle. Keep us posted.
Gaye Lynn Wallace
Dear Lord, We thank you for loving McKinley and her mom and dad. We ask that you would be with them and fill them with peace in the weeks to come. I know you're doing a great work in McKinley's life and that you love her so much, more than we can even imagine. I claim this verse in Jesus name for McKinley today and I thank you for your healing power and mercy to us in all things. Amen. "Every part is placed by God exactly where He wants it. It functions best when it is where he placed it and performing its duty." 1 Corinthians 12
Lord, we continue to lift up baby McKinley and Danielle and Craig to you Father, be with them and comfort them, strengthen them, protect them, heal them. Love you guys!
Your whole family is in all of our prayers. We love you and miss you. God's hand and spirit will be with you though and bless your baby girl. The Lord's will will prevail. Trust in that. (:
God Bless!
Praying for the Smiths tonight, and thanking God for the provision thus far and good news. Thank you Father, that your perfect love casts out fear.
Dear Lord, I pray that you be with Craig and Danielle as they go through this journey. May they know you have a plan and that You love and cherish them so very much. May you fix all of the complications and be with the precious little babygirl. You know all and are here through all. You reign Lord!
Just wanted you guys to know you're heavy on my heart today. Praying extra for all four of you and your team of doctors. Wisdom, safety, healing and above all PEACE!
Lord,
I ask that you would please be with McKinley today. Heal her body, give her more strength each and every day. Let her wiggle around so much she bugs her mom, but as an encouragement that she is strong! Please give Danielle and Craig peace today that You are in control of the situation and that you hold McKinley in the palm of your hand. We know you are healer, that you are the creater of all things, and that your power is greater than we can imagine. Hold McKinley tight in the palm of your hand and healer her little body.
Amen
Father God, we come to you today Lord and I just pray that you will be with danielle and craig right now, God give them peace and rest with this new doctors appt coming up. I pray that they would not be to anxious. I know that this is an important appointment. God i pray that this would be the perfect doctor for little Mckinley, and that he would be the doctor You have in mind God. Continue to heal her little body, I believe that You still perform miracles God. We know that whatever mckinley and her parents will face you will be right there with them. guide them and give them comfort. We love you Lord.
Dear Lord, In Psalms 8:2 it tells us that, "You have taught children and infants to tell of your strength, silencing your enemies and all who oppose you. (NLT) We pray now for McKinley Lord and for her healing. We know that her life will be a testament to your strength and great love for us. We thank you for the great work that you are about to do in her life and the story she will be able to tell of how you touched her and made her whole again. We thank you in Jesus name, Amen.
Dear Lord, We thank you so much for your wonderful love for us and for the great love you have for McKinley. Even though you've known about her alot longer than we have: she is already very dear to our hearts and we thank you for this tiny life you've created. We ask for your healing for her today Lord and that Craig and Danielle will strongly feel your presence through this time. We ask that you would be with the Doctors guiding each thought and action that they take. Your word tells us in Psalm 32:7-8 "You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. " We claim that promise now in Jesus and name and know that you will be McKinley, Craig and Danielle's hiding place, protect them from trouble and surround them with songs of deliverance. In Jesus name I pray, Amen
Dear Lord,
I cannot wait to see this sweet baby girl. Please continue to be with her and heal her body! No matter how hard it can be we trust that you are in control. You knew McKinley's finger prints before they were formed, you knew her name before it was chosen and you knew her heart before it developed. We know you are watching over her! Please be with the doctors and surgeons that will be working with Danielle and McKinley, give them the wisdom to handle everything in the correct way.
Karla Crawford Prewitt
Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of life. You have created us in Your image and You love each of us more than we can ever truly comprehend. We know that You have a special purpose for each of us. Thank you for McKinley and how You are already using this precious baby girl to demonstrate your love. Lord, we pray that Your Will be complete in her life. We lift up this precious baby to You and ask that your healing hand touch her in the womb and make her physically complete. We pray for a miracle, Lord, because we know and believe that you are able. We know that you are the author of all truth and goodness; and no matter what, we trust you in all things. We pray that you will guide the physicians and surgeons giving them wisdom as they prepare for McKinley's arrival. Lord, please continue to strengthen and comfort your servants, Craig and Danielle. And bless little Jackson as he awaits the birth of his baby sister. Lord, we thank you for the medical experts you have provided and for the tender, thorough care they are giving. Lord, forgive us for so often taking the gift of life for granted...and help us to cherish and love one another as you have loved us! Please bless baby McKinley and the Smith family. We love them so much!
In Jesus name, amen.
Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lords help and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Love you guys!
Psalm 139:13-16
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to
Dear lord , please be with Craig , Danielle, and Jackson as they go tomorrow to see how baby Mckienly is doing. Please keep her safe and let her be healed when they go tomorrow to more to the doctor.
Lord, please be with Craig and Danielle tonight and tomorrow. Calm their nerves and Remove their fears. Seeing their precious baby girl tomorrow will be amazing. Please give them smiles, hope and a peace that you are taking care of McKinley. Please heal McKinley and let them see that progress tomorrow it is your will. You are healer. Love you, amen
God, we have complete confidence that you are good. Your ways are higher than our ways and your thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We know that you have some good plan for all of this that we cannot see or know right now. In spite of all this, we ask you that you would heal McKenzie. You give us boldness to approach your throneroom, so we come before you humbly, in light of your mercy, and plead for this child's life. Thank you for what Craig, Danielle, and Jackson have meant to me. I pray that you give these faithful followers a healthy little girl. We love you, Lord. We ask all of these things in the powerful, strong, and unmatched name of Jesus. Amen.
Dear heavenly father we lift babv McKenzie up to you now and ask for your healing in her life. We know that you love her more than any of us could ever imagine and we trust in your to do what is best for her. Help her parents through this time giving them encouragement and strength and joy in anticipating the birth of their sweet baby girl. We praise your name and thank you for being a God of hope and one who was caring enough to send us a comforter in our times of trial. Amen. "For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him "
~ 1 samuel 1:27 fr
Heavenly Father, we all look to You knowing that You are knitting little McKinley together and Your perfect will is being done. A miracle of total healing is everyone's hope and prayer but above all we pray that Your will be done in and through this precious life. All eyes are on her Lord, with hundreds of prayers being lifted to You every day on her behalf. We know you hear our prayers Lord and we find comfort in that. We also know you have a plan for McKinley and we trust you completely. Thank you for Your perfect love and provision. Continue to be all the Smith family needs during this difficult journey of faith. I pray that you would surround them with your love, peace, and comfort letting them know that You have this sweet baby in Your hands and everything is going to be alright. In Jesus Name We Pray~ Amen
I know I haven't posted on here until now - but know that I am praying for you and your sweet baby as often as you cross my mind!
Dear Lord, Thank you for the Smiths. They are such sweet, dear people and I am so grateful that You have brought them to our church. Thank you for their darling baby boy - he is such a joy! And thank you for this new baby girl that You are bringing into their lives. I pray specifically for McKinley. You already know her! And You have plans for her! I pray that it is in Your will to heal her completely. But if not, then I pray that she continues to grow and get stronger so that she will be fine after her surgery. I know that Craig and Danielle are great parents, and I know this is so hard for them. God, please keep Your Hands on them - hold them when they feel they might buckle. Thank you for all that You have done and will do, Lord
But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of rightousness arise with healing in his wings...Malachi 4:2 Praying for the Smith family and trusting in God's word that we will never be left alone. Know that God never leaves us or forsakes us, and cling to that. Love you guys.
Lord, our hearts hurt for the Smiths. Sometimes, as believers, it's so easy to say we trust You and say we believe in your healing power; but Lord we really do! We know that McKinley is in your hands. We know that you are already working in the details of her birth, surgeries, etc. The unknown can be, and is, so scary! But God, we praise you that You do not give us a spirit of fear(2Tim1:7)- any anxiety and worry is not from You, so God we Praise you that we can find rest in You! And we just continue to ask for peace, rest, and comfort for Craig and Danielle. Lord, as preparations for McKinley's arrival continues we ask that you begin to prepare Jackson for all that will unfold during that time. I ask that you give him a spirit of understanding and patience when his parents are unavailable and remove all jealousy, leaving him only with compassion for his sister.
You are God! And we trust you to work in the lives of everyone involved. And we trust and know that You will bring glory to your name in every step of this journey.
I hope this little baby comes out heathly buetiful little girl and remember everything happens for a reason!!!
Dear Lord, I just want to lift this precious little life up to you. God, I pray that you will help all of us to remember that this health issue was not a surprise to you and that you know every detail about McKinley. God I pray a healing in her little body and wisdom for everyone involved. I pray that you would guide the doctors in knowing exactly what needs to be done. I pray for strength, comfort, and peace for Craig and Danielle. God give them the strength to remember that you are in control and have created McKinley and already know every little thing about her. God, I thank you for the Smith's and everything that they have done for
Danielle, we are praying for your little one. Each time I remember you, I lift up a prayer for healing and safety and comfort and peace. Keep us posted.
Jessie Nicole Prewitt
Father, I want to thank You so much for the Smith family and the blessing they have been to our church. I pray that you would heal the baby girl You are giving them. Please heal little McKinley and bring comfort to Craig and Danielle. Help them to know You are near and that they have a whole family of believers supporting them and praying for them. Thank You so much for the miracle McKinley is and will be. We love You and give You all the glory. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen
Healer, We believe that You have a perfect plan for little McKinley. God even though she is already so loved here, we know that you love her even more than that. God i pray healing over her tiny body. We know that you are holding her in your arms. God i pray that you would have your will done in every decision and every minute of her life. God we will trust you in every step. I pray for peace for craig and danielle and their family. God i know that this must be hard. But i believe that you will give them the strength and comfort in these months. I know how amazing McKinleys parents are and I pray that they would continue to trust you, even when its hard. Keep her safe Lord, and her family at peace. We love you and thank you for this life God. We can't wait to meet this beauitful baby! Amen.
"Be still and know that I am God." Dear Lord, there are so many things to ask for and hope for and pray for. And yes, it is all of our desires to see McKinley be born and grow in your name and for your glory dear God. But more than anything Lord, I just want to usher in your spirit deeply into the hearts of all who are involved in this, especially Craig and Danielle. You have greatly blessed then with hearts of obedience and patience. Give them peace. Let them know and call out to them when they need to be reminded that whatever happens, your peace and love will still be here and you word and laws just. You are a pure and holy God and we know that you have a purpose for all things. May we be faithful to remember that and continue to glorify your name no matter what. You are our rock. I love you. Amen.
Dear Lord we thank ou for the wonderful plan that you have Mckinley's life. We thank you for blessing her with such a wonderful mom and dad. We ask that you would be with them today and give them your strength as they turn to you for help. We ask that you would touch McKinley and heal her body. May be she be a wonderful testimony to you. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. John 9:3.
Dear God, We are so thankful for being with us in our most difficult days. We pray for baby McKinley each second. You are the healer and we come to you and ask healing. Be with Danielle and Craig, let them keep thier eyes and hearts on you. We know the evil one will come and bring thoughts of fearbut we also know you are bigger and more powerful. You know all things and have all things in the palm of your hand. Help us Lord Jesus.
Dear Lord,
Please be with McKinley today. Heal her body. Please give Danielle and Craig a peace to know that you have this under control. That you love McKinley and are watching over her every step of the way.
Amen
Lord I just want to come to you now and thank you for the blessing you have bestowed on Danielle and Craigs life with a beautiful babygirl. I pray that she continues to grow and that You would heal her! You are the Beholder and You know all truth. May you comfort them in their time of need and show them how to trust in your word! Thank you for bein the God you are!
Dear Lord,
Please be with McKinley today! Keep her warm and safe in her mommy's tummy! Heal her body quickly so that she can be healthy and strong when she is born! We all cannot wait to see her! Also, if you could make her a 4th of July baby that would be awesome! Im pretty sure Craig and Danielle would love that! :) God you are HEALER! we love you! please please be with baby McKinley!
Amen
Dear Heavenly Father, when we need comfort, we call You comforter; when we need provisions, we call You provider; when we need healing, we call You healer. You know all things and all things are for Your glory. I desperately pray, Lord, that You would be a comforter for Danielle and Craig and Jackson and that You would be a healer for McKinley. We beg for Your presence during this time of difficulty and confusion. Your word tells us that You are "not a God of confusion, but a God of peace" (1 Cor. 14:33). I ask Lord that You would help Danielle and Craig to make sense of the confusion and praise You nevertheless. And I ask Lord that Your mighty, healing hand would be fully laid on McKinley and that she would be fully made in Your likeness and complete in Your perfection, whatever that may be in Your eyes. We love and praise You, Lord Jesus. In Your name we lift up our prayers. AMEN
Dear Lord,
I ask that you would be with sweet baby McKinley. We know that you knew her before you even created her. I ask that your will would be done and that you will be healer for this sweet baby. Please be with Craig and Danielle and give them disernment and encourgement and comfort during this time. We know that you can can do miracles!!!
Amen
That was February 7, 2011. February 7, 2012 is going to be spent rejoicing in what we have witnessed. My daughter has experienced 100% healing! We are going to celebrate her life. We are going to continue to daily thank God for his tremendous grace and mercy shown to our family in this past year. We are going to be thankful for the HUGE support group we have that continues to love our family. And continues to pray for our sweet McKinley in her journey. And we are going to spend alot of time praying for other families of sweet omphalocele fighters.
Thank you friends for your love and support over the past year! Celebrate with us! WHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!
3 comments:
That is so wonderful of you to blog! You are right, no one understands the heartache like other Moo's do! What a difference a year makes!!
I thought about you a lot yesterday, remembering the texts i received from you that day... what a scary time for you, and NOW look at this beautiful and perfect daughter you have!!!
You are so lucky :)
What an encouragement to see the Lord working and answering prayers!
And so very encouraging to see that people DO pray for each other and intercede for each other- thank you for sharing all the prayers that were lifted up for your little girl
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