Sunday, September 13, 2009

September 13th- Christi Update

Keep praying friends. Please.

Today is an insignificant day. September 13th. 29 years ago my parents got married on this day, but today is still an insignificant day. Sounds cruel? Well it's not meant to be because you see, September 13th of 2010 is supposed to be the day I die. One year from today I am *supposed* to breathe my last. I have full faith that this will not be the case, thus, today is an insignificant day.

Medial survival time for someone with my condition is 17.1 months... 17.1 months from April 5th puts my "Cancer due date" at September 13, 2010... my parent's 30th wedding anniversary. The day that I'm going to have a big party because I'm still around... a day that will be insignificant because it will just be another ordinary day. A day that I WANT to be insignificant. A day that in no possible way CAN BE insignificant.... just as today is not the least insignificant either.

I know what I said earlier, but it's both. Today is equally insignificant and incredibly significant all at the same time. It will be a day of nothing exciting happening AND a day of great rejoicing and emotion. September 13th is not an ending for me but a beginning. A testament of God's provision and His love. Today is a difficult day because it's a giant reminder of how far we've come. It's a wake up call to what an AMAZING, HORRIFYING, and BLESSED five months it has been. When God takes you out of your comfort zone and you are forced to rely solely on Him it can be a scary and reassuring thing. It's GOOD that I am not in control of my own life! I would not be the person I am today if I were. Not to say that I'm where I need to be yet, but like Paul I keep pressing on towards the goal to which I am called in Christ Jesus.

One year from today I am supposed to be dead.

BUT only God knows the number of my days.

September 13th is an insignificant day that caries with it all the significance in the world - God is watching over me and HE is the one in control. That is a comforting place to be.