Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Parenting is Personal

And alittle bit of facebook etiquette too!

I have a friend, Leslie, from college, who writes a really interesting blog. I really enjoy reading it. She is a good writer. She is creative. She works at a university in Tennessee, which leads to interesting stories. She is madly in love with her husband, and its really cute to see! She also can write a blog that is very straight to the point, so much so, I wonder if she is talking straight to me (even though, I know she isnt).. she's just that good! :) But she does it with such tact and grace. And I hope this blog can come across the same.

Grace and Tact. But straight to the point.

It is 1:40 am. I am tired. I am sick. And I can not sleep. This is a very awful feeling. Knowing that my son will be waking up in 5 hours and not having a clue when I am actually going to fall asleep. You see, my doctor put me on a steroid. Not to work off some of this ugly arm fat for Ward and Reese's wedding, but to help with the swelling of my throat. The directions says to take it first thing in the morning with food. Well, I did not get my prescription till around 2pm. The side effects said lack of sleep.. hence taking it first thing in the morning. Ugh. I need sleep. Another side effect is nervousness.. and although I dont find myself nervous, I find myself kinda fidgety... my mind is going 90 to nothing. And, this post will be filled with what I am thinking about during this sleepless time.

Parenting is Personal.

From the moment that you find out that you are pregnant, you have decisions to make.
-Are you going to tell your husband in a creative way that your life is fixing to change forever, or will you just call him up to the bathroom where you are taking a bath, with your youth intern downstairs and just stare in disbelief?
-Are you going to read the plethera of books out there preparing you for every step of your pregnancy or are you going to go with the flow?
- Are you going to use your OB or are you going to get a midwife?
-Around 20 weeks, are you going to find out the sex of your baby, or wait until you see your baby on its due date?
-Are you going to continue your exercise regiment, change it up abit, or quit it all together?
-Are you going to stand strong and fight those pregnancy cravings or are you going to give into all of them?
-If necessary are you ok with getting induced or do you think that it should happen when its supposed to happen?
-If you have it your way, do you want it vaginally or csection?
-When you go into labor, are you going to be super woman and go all natural, or are you going to be super woman and tell every person you come in contact with that you want an epidural (and any and all drugs that come along with it)
-Do you just want your husband and the doctors and nurses in the room during the big reveal or do you want your whole family?
-Right after the baby is born, do you want to have some special time just with you, your hubby and the baby, or will you be ready for everyone to come in and snuggle with your new one?
(I am sure there are more)
Once the baby is home with you
-Are you going to use cloth diaper or disposable ones?
-Are you going to breast feed, pump, or use formula?
-Are you going to get your baby vaccinated, or not?
-Are you going to let your baby sleep in his/her crib right away or in a bassinet/cradle in your room?
-Do you want help from family members the first couple of weeks, or do you and your hubby want to handle it alone?
-Are you going to make or buy the baby food?
-Are you going to have your baby go to Mothers Day Out/Day Care or are you going to stay home with him/her?
(And again, I know there are more.. but again its now almost 2 am)

The point of all these questions is... there are going to be alot of combinations of answers.

It is ultimately up to you and your husband to decide how you want to raise your baby. People can and WILL make suggestions on what they think is best. Some is well intented, some is just plain nosey. But, really it is a discussion for the caregivers of the baby to have. Thats it.

I believe, whole heartedly, that Craig and I have done the absolute best that we can do with Jackson. I feel like we have made the right decisions for us and for Jackson. Now, I am not saying that when/if we are blessed with another child, that will will do everything exactly the same. Every child is different. However, with Jackson, I think we have done it right. FOR US. (with that being said, we have had wonderful wisdom passed down to us, from family members and friends that we trust and respect their opinions, and we also have a wonderful doctor, whom we also trust her insight).

Being at the stage of life that we are at, many peers are having babies. Craig and I do not always agree with decisions that they are making for their babies. However, they are the parents of their child and just in the same way that we feel that we are making the correct choice for Jackson, they feel they are making the right choice for their baby. Although, Craig and I may discuss it at home, followed by confirmation of our decisions. I would never suggest to the parent that they were parenting their child in an incorrect way.

I expect the same respect. I realize that not everyone is going to agree with everything that I do with Jackson. And that is absolutely 100% fine, they are not Jackson's mother. And they can discuss it all they want with their family members and even their friends. BUT, do not make a comment to me, suggesting that your way is better than my way. This is one thing that will make me more mad.... Especially if you do not fall under the category that I discussed earlier (family members, good friends whom we respect and trust their opinions, or my doctor).

If you do, and you make a comment on my facebook as such, I will defriend you. Its rude.

Thank you.


Leslie said...

First of all, thanks for the compliments! Aren't blogs such a wonderful way to get something off your chest? I cannot believe that someone commented on your parenting through FACEBOOK! Ugg. I know I haven't been near ya'll since having Jackson, but I can tell just through blogland that you are wonderful parents! And you are totally justified to do a little defriending :)

mckenziegordon said...

I agree with you about Leslie's blog! Every time I read it, it makes me think of some fun memory I have with her.
Your love for Jackson is so evident and I know you are seeking in the Lord for the right decisions concerning your family. People are just stupid and think that they have the best ideas...ALWAYS! Keep up the good work!

Kara Scharrer said...

I totally agree with you - every kid is different and every parent has their OWN way of parenting their OWN child. I hate it when people try to tell me I'm doing it wrong, or they know better. Great post!

The Tribuzis said...

Some people are ignorant and simply think they know best... NOt all people have developed tact... You are an amazing mother, you love Jackson and want the best for him bottom line. Don't worry too much about those to try to tell you to do it their way, it's not worth the stress. You are great!

Brooke Heskew said...

How funny that this was a week later that this woman did this to me!! I might have not been so offended if Rex were truly acting up but he wasn't. Then the thought of this woman thinking my child was another one of those rowdy, rambunctious children made me even more mad! I pray everyday that I discipline my children correctly so I feel that this woman was Satan trying to tug at me! So glad I stayed semi calm with her! She probably saw me driving out of the parking lot with my FBC Newcastle sticker on the back of the car!!