Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Craziest Interview EVER

I have been in staffing for a little bit and really I thought that I had heard every story possible. And I think I have heard every excuse possible. More family members have died of my employees that humanly possible. I have heard every excuse in the world as to why possibly a drug screen comes back positive and of couse, its never because they have done drugs.

Well today, I was proven wrong. I had the most crazy interview that I have ever had. With the craziest lady I have ever met. I just couldnt even possibly make up what I am fixing to write. For whatever reason, I will be cautious about using the specific job she was interviewing for and I, of course will not use names.

I started looking over our inquiry calls this morning to prepare myself for the interviews that would be coming in today. I had to stop at one because this person's work experience was interesting, it said something to this effect " Worked for "Boss" for several years until she found him dead on his desk" WHAT?!!?! OK.

So this lady comes in with a man.. she is older than my parents, had an older black dress on and had really long, major frizzy grey hair, and an OVERLY sweet voice. I put her on the computer to get started on her application. I give her husband a paper application because he did not have an appointment. He couldnt spell anything. And really struggled to fill the paperwork out with out the help of his wife. This really embarrassed her. (Remember the husband.. he comes up later in the story).

I begin her interview. We start with her work history. She has had three jobs. Her first job was in an office with a lawyer. She began this job in 1976. She told me that this lawyer that she worked with, was the FOUNDER of personal injury law. Ok, I am not a lawyer. I have not been to law school, and I havent even googled the man.. however, I seriously doubt that people just began suing eachother in personal injury cases in 1976... again I could be wrong. She thought very highly of this man, and told me that because of him, she met her first husband, who was a cop! But he died in the line of duty (dead man one). She continued, that she would have worked this job forever, but one day she parked next to Mr. Lawyer and when she walked in the office, she could not find him. She went back to his desk and found him slumped over dead on his desk of natural causes (dead man 2).

Second Job. She was a nurse. She was working at a hospital in LA only six miles away from where EVERY GANG in LA was formed. (Right!). And one day, there was a gang fight, and a leader of a gang got shot and she was working with the doctor on saving his life (he eventually died.. dead man three). But the opposing leader of the other gang showed up in the hospital and just started shooting everyone!!!! The doctor who she was standing right next to was killed right there! (dead man four). She wasnt hit, "thank god", but was COVERED with blood!!!! Right.

Third Job. She was a nurse. At another hospital in California. She said that we couldnt contact them for an employee verification, because while she was working there, there was a MAJOR earthquake that caused the entire hospital to fall to the ground. It took her 2 1/2 hours to get herself out of the rubble. (she didnt mention anyone dying. but I am sure some did).

Ok, so three jobs. Three major tragedies. She quit working in 1994. I dont know why I did.. but I just HAD to ask, "why have you not worked since 1994." For some reason, I thought I might get a good story. Which I did.

Well, at first, she found out her second husband was a serial killer. She she went through an intense stage of depression. They thought for alittle bit that she was bi-polar. But she promises she was not bi-polar, just depressed. But she promised me that if I found out that my husband was a serial killer, I too would be depressed.

Then, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had to have a double masectomy. BUT, do not fear she did not get breast implants. She promised me that the boobs that I saw on her was just the "tissue that God gave her". And she also gave me the advice, "if God forbid, I get breast cancer one day... DO NOT get implants" Ok.. thank you crazy lady.

Then... she and her third husband (the one who is in the interview with her, who couldnt spell Horizon..and did not know his own address), anyway, he invented drug screening in businesses in Texas. WHAT!?!?!? Just in Texas huh... Ok. Well, she and her husband got hit head on by a drunk driver and so she broke her back in three places, so she could not walk for a while.

AND THEN.. this disease took over her body where she had to be in a motorized wheelchair for the last five years... and she JUST got out of it.

This lady was crazy. CRAZY! I actually think that she believes that all of this has happened to her. I think she is crazy. And I think that she has watched way too much tv and movies.

5 comments:

becca! said...

wow. That's almost unbelievable how insane that story is! That lady has a great imagination. great.

Anonymous said...

I AM JUST LAUGHING ALL THE WAY THROUGH ABOUT THIS LADY...HAVING WORKED FOR A PSYCHOLOGIST IN THE PAST I HAVE HEARD QUITE A BIT BUT I ALMOST THINK THIS TAKES THE CAKE AND I THINK THAT SHE NOT ONLY IS BIPOLAR BUT SCHIZOPHRENIC AS WELL!!! AND, STAY AWAY FROM HER, IT IS CLEAR THAT SHE IS A JINX TO EVERYONE SHE COMES IN CONTACT WITH! :) paige

Matt and Shara said...

Oh my gosh, she is certifiably NUTS!!! How on earth did you keep from laughing?!?!

The McClures said...

oh my gosh, I agree, she is crazy! I am laughing really hard

The Pink Potpourri said...

C-R-A-Z-Y!!! thanks for sharing this hilarious story...nothing interesting like that ever happens at my job :)

hey be sure to swing by The Pink Potpourri this week! we're hosting a swap, and would love for you to be a part of it!