Monday, December 17, 2012


I have been trying to think of a way to put my thoughts into words about what happened in Newtown, CT on Friday. I really struggle for words.  I do not struggle for tears.  I can not begin to imagine how the mom and dads of the innocent 20 children are dealing with their new reality.  I can not begin to imagine how the parents who's children were in the school and escaped are coping.  I can not imagine how the teachers and staff are grieving.  

I do know that there is evil in this world.  I do know that although this happened in the quiet town of Newtown, it could happen anywhere in America.  I know that I can find my hope, peace and joy even in times of tragedy in Jesus.  I hope the people of Newtown do, as well.

This weekend was a really good weekend with my kids.  Like many parents in America, I was hugging my kids alittle tighter and alittle longer.  :)

Its no secret, that my almost FOUR (crazy!) year old can sometimes be a bit of a challenge.  He is wonderful and sweet.  He is kind and loving.  But he can be difficult.  He is a toddler, and a lot of it might stem from that fact.  He has struggled with speech (although he is SO much better), we feel like his poor decisions can stem from his frustration of not being able to communicate his need.  We think he might have some social anxieties... he likes structure, and if we emerge him into a new situation too quickly.. he just doesnt recover.  Parenting him can be exhausting.  There are days when I can get so incredibly frustrated and feel as though I am the biggest failure as a parent EVER.

Although we have those frustrating moments... the good moments of parenting Jackson FAR outweigh the difficult ones.  The kid is HILARIOUS!  And so so so loving.  Yesterday, after McKinley went to bed, and we were waiting for Craig to get home.. Jackson went and got my camera, gave it to me and smiled.  He was ready for a photo shoot.  It went alittle something like this:

I love this little guy.  As I mentioned earlier, I can not imagine sending him to school, and never seeing him again. I can't imagine someone having so much evil and hurt in their heart that they could ever kill children, as innocent as my Jackson.

Continued prayers for Newtown, CT.