Thursday, September 6, 2007

Real Life Lessons Learned

Let me first preface this blog by saying: I do not make this stuff up. When I tell the stories of my job. They are 100% true. Although they may seem completely unreal. I am not creative enough to come up with this stuff. Real people do these things. And today, I would like to think that I have now seen/heard it all. I will share these real life lessons that were learned today by one of my temps, and maybe just maybe these lessons will help you get through a difficult situation one day.

Life Lesson #1
When you are sick, when you go to a doctors appointment: it is not necessary to bring the PROOF to your employer, a doctors note or a dentists note in this case would suffice. And if you are not going to be able to work that day, you dont have to come in to see the employer. A phone call many times will suffice. For example, if you are sick, you do not need to bag up your throw up and bring it to your employer to PROVE that you have been sick. In this case, you do not need to OPEN your mouth and show your decaying tooth to PROVE that you have been to the dentist. Make a phone call. Bring the dentists note the next day, and we will call it good.

Life Lesson #2
When riding in the car with your wife, do not initiate road rage, no matter what the situation is. You will then feel like you have to be the hero. And if you have warrants out for your arrest, remember cops MIGHT get involved.

Life Lesson #3
If road rage does happen, do not flip the other driver off. This might make them more mad. And then you will really have to be the hero. However, being the hero does not always have to entail bringing out a deadly dangerous weapon, such as a gun, knife or in this case SWORD! This will only equal the cops being called.

Life Lesson #4
Do not keep a sword in your car. Kids can get hurt. And you might just be tempted to do something silly as whip it out in a moment of rage. (I mean, I guess some people would be tempted, most people who act annoyed, scream possibly, maybe even cuss, but I guess a sword can be a temptation)

Life Lesson #5
If you are thinking that you could be in trouble, instead of taking matters into your own hands (see above), drive straight to the local police station, or call 911, they can help. Do not drive to your work (to show your boss your decaying tooth, like your original plan). Mean guys will follow and wait for you. They will be waiting to hurt you. Or possibly watch you get arrested (as in this case)

Life Lesson #6
Do not take the dangerous deadly weapon into your place of work and hide it amongst the boxes in the warehouse. Even if you do not get arrested, you will get fired.

Final Life Lesson
Don't do bad things to make you have a warrant out for your arrest. Because you will eventually get caught. And it will be a bad day.

I hope these life lessons can help you not make the same mistakes as one of my employees.

5 comments:

Craig said...

I can add one more for you: Do not point out to your significant other that you feel slighted, snubbed, being fourth down on their list of blogs they read and enjoy.

Especially when the only reason you are fourth on their list is because...wait for it...they are fourth on yours.

shara said...

OMG!! Please tell me this didn't really happen!! For real, people are crazy!

The McClures said...

this is really funny, I am seriously laughing out loud!

davidbmclaughlin.com said...

Tell Craig that he should not be so petty.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.

:)

Besides-maybe he hasnt earned a 1st place spot yet. You on the other hand should have the 1st place spot. You HAVE earned it. Is he saying you havent?

PS-many moons ago i managed an apartment complex and had to break up a sword fight about 3 am.

Craig said...

I am going to stab Dave with a sword if he doesn't mind his own business.