Friday, February 8, 2008

With Only Two Months Left...

I normally handle the crazies of my job pretty well. They are just crazy. I can be strong and firm and they do not scare me. I have had people steal cars during their interviews, I have had employees whip out swords on their lunch break in acts of road rage, I have had people crumple up their applications and throw them at me, I have had people cuss at me, call me names that most definitely will not get them a job. All of which, I can handle. Ok, well the police handled the car stealer (which ended up being a transvestite (spell?) prostitute)... and the sword man. But, you know... never felt threatened.

Well, today I was a bit humbled in my "strength". I hired a CRAZY! I kinda had second thoughts when he came in for his orientation and his pants were unzipped the entire time (could have been a mistake... doubt it), and I had to constantly make him stay on task during the orientation. Oh well, I let him start. He lasted one day. I was ok with that.. he no called no showed. In my world, as I tell them in orientation.. "if you no call no show, dont show back up, I will find someone who is responsible and who can handle an adult job." Mr. Crazy no called no showed. So, the email went out.. Mr. Crazy was dropped, his badge was deactivated... I never needed to see him again. WELL... I am sitting in my office... working I am sure. Or maybe checking out my registries online. You know.. basically the same thing. And Mr. Crazy (has a kind of fro) walks into my office. He is crying. Although, I cant tell if he is fake crying or real crying. His super cool kind of fro is kinda shaved at the front and he has these cuts/sores/I dont know how to describe it, but you could tell he was hurt. But instead of embarking on the question of what in the world happened to your head... I went with "why are you crying", as my office is filling up with the scent of alcohol. Maybe he hadnt just drank.. maybe it was just PORING from his pores... anyway... "Why are you crying". Mr. Crazy... "I dont want to be a bad employee... I dont want to be a bad employee." I am thinking... Dont worry, you arent my employee anymore.. so you cant be a bad one. But, before I can say that he continues "This man owed me $200, so when I asked him for it, he hit me on the head with a hammer twice... my head hurts" I just look at him. He continues " I dont want to be a bad employee but I was in the hospital for two days". Oh.. side note... pants unzipped AGAIN! Finally, I had a chance to talk... not without him whimpering in pain (could have been fake). "Well, Mr. Crazy.. I am very sorry that this has happened to you, however, you know that you were hired on a temporary basis. In your orientation I went over with you the importance of your attendance, and you only worked one day and then we never heard from you again, unfortunately you are no longer employed with me". Sobs. Sobs. And then crazy eyes and "Do you not see it.. I was hit in the head with a hammer twice... Do you not see it.. Do you not believe me". To which I start getting alittle frightened thinking he might lean over my desk and strangle me.. seriously... " I do see it.. I do believe you.. and it is a very unfortunate circumstance, and I am sure it hurts really bad, but you are no longer employed with us.. the good news is you will have a paycheck for the one day that you worked last week next Friday, that you can pick up from the receptionist." Tears. Sobs. Bad language. Very crazy eyes. So before he could say anything else.. or kill me.. I said "You will need to leave". He just sits there and looks at me crazy. For some reason, I got up, and walked around my desk. I dont know what I was thinking honestly. So when I got to the edge of my desk, I realized my stupidity and stopped and just motioned for him to get up and leave. I seriously had a thought... now I am far away from my phone.. what if he pulls out a gun? What in the world am I am going to do? I seriously was scared. But instead of pulling out a gun and killing me... he left with sobs and tears and alcohol smell and a round of the f word approximately five times. He left. I locked my door. And peaked out my back door to make sure he actually got in a car and left. He did. New security procedure will be in place as soon as the HR director gets back from lunch. SERIOUSLY CRAZY!

2 comments:

drew.martin said...

that's scary. i promise you, i couldn't handle your job. i'd turn into one of the crazies.

Allie Parker said...

thank goodness for people like you. i'm too much of a wuss...i would not last even one day there..